A
Rude Variety
In
Mike LaBossiere’s article “Rudeness”, he examines current trends for societal discourtesy.
According to LaBossiere, “…people have been rude throughout history.” LaBossiere
feels that “people are rude for a variety of reasons” which include ignorance,
perception, making a statement,
perceived worth, and other causes; which was not explained in detail. Rudeness
is an epidemic that has spanned generations. In older generations, neglecting
your manners was considered an act of rudeness; actions as neglecting to say
please, thank you, sir, mam, and interrupting conversations were considered
offensive transgressions. Political rudeness has been established since the
days of Jefferson and Adams. Jefferson is quoted as saying about Adams, “he is
as a hideous hermaphroditical character, which has neither the force nor
firmness of a man or the gentleness and sensibility of a woman.” Incivility has
deep roots across cultures. In Iran, the
thumb up sign is considered an obscene gesture, very much like the American
gesture of middle finger pointing upward with the rest of the fingers in a
fist. Present day lack of respect includes past bad behaviors as well as new
avenues such as electronic media, bad parenting, and over inflated
self-perceptions. This creates a rude
variety.
With
the invention of mobile devices comes a new set of rudeness and new set of manners
that need to be learned. Most of society is unaware of the proper etiquette for
current technology. The “Cell Yell” is one behavior that most people can agree
is rude. The Cell Yell is when a person talks loudly for everyone in the
general area to hear every detail of their one-sided conversation. This
particular act disrupts other conversations and the work flow of employees. LaBossiere’s assertion that certain phone
behaviors that maybe considered rude by adults are seen as perfectly acceptable
to younger generations needs re-examining. Texting is one behavior that can be
considered uncouth, depending on the offender and the offended. He states as an
example, “So when a student whips out her cell phone to answer a text while I’m
explaining her paper grade to her, I see it as rude and she probably sees it as
socially acceptable behavior”. Phone
etiquette should be expected and needs to be learned. There is a time and place
for texting and calls. It is not during instruction, conversations, movies, meetings,
concerts, or meal times. Socially acceptable behavior needs to be redefined.
One
aspect missing from LaBossiere’s article is the parenting facet. In older
generations, parents, grandparents, and community taught children manners and
respect for elders. Please, thank you, sir and mam were expected and chided if
forgotten. One was taught to relinquish a chair for an elder and not to
interrupt adult conversations. It seems that in today’s society, selfishness is
prevalent. This selfishness is mistaken for self-esteem. Young people have no
problem interjecting into conversations that does not involve them. Parental coddling, over protective adults,
and “everyone’s a winner attitude” has fostered the over inflated self-esteem
leading to current excessively bad-mannered, self-indulged young people. There are numerous accounts of people
charging through crowds without excuse or apology; unruly children in public
places such as movie theaters and libraries without correction or instruction
from their parents; and older adults modeling rude behavior at sporting events
and while driving. Rude begets rude. LaBossiere states that, “One reason is
practical: people respond negatively to rudeness and they remember poor
treatment. Hence, they will be less inclined to help rude people and might take
opportunities to retaliate.”
Insolence
is often used as leverage or perceived leverage. A person may be boorish in
order to acquire something they want or to influence a person to perform in
desired way. This view was notably missing from LaBossiere’s article. However,
he does address rudeness toward others as “relative worth”. For example,
educational elitist feel they are superior over those who don’t possess a
college degree or a degree equivalent to their own. He writes, “People tend to be rude to those
they regard as being less useful, inferior, or unable to retaliate.” Which brings the question: Is there an
appropriate time to be rude? “In some cases, it is a matter of making a
statement”, says LaBossiere. “By being rude, a person can attempt to show that
she is superior.” Pop TV culture such as American Idol has judges whose verdict is often
scathing, insensitive, and delivered in a coarse manner reducing some
contestants to tears.
Rudeness
is a matter of perception, especially across cultures. In France, greeting in
French rather than English is considered polite, even if you do not speak
French. The French are not smiley people. It is not a part of their daily
repertoire, unlike Americans who smile for almost any reason. Loud, rowdy
behavior from tourists is worthy of the famous French snub. Chinese culture
requires elaborate politeness for close friends, family, and business partners
but indifference toward strangers. The Chinese consider showing the bottoms of
the feet or the soles of shoe extremely distasteful. The older generation tends
to be more offensive than the younger generation which is in stark contrast to
western cultures.
It
is believed that courtesy is rewarded with courtesy. “While it is anecdotal
evidence, I have found that most people are nice to me when I am nice to them.”
writes LaBossiere. Politeness is preferred by society. People respond well to courtesy. According to LaBossiere, “While there are
many moral theories, one basic principle that tends to hold universally is the
notions that you should treat others as you would want to be treated.” It pays to be nice.
Mike LaBossiere’s article on “Rudeness” touches on a few of the
current issues contributing to impoliteness. Mobile Devices, generational
societal changes, defiance, and arrogance are listed as contributors. Today’s
society does seem to be more insolent that of generations past. His article is
a much generalized view on a very detailed subject. Mr. LaBossiere should elaborate
more on what he deems as generational changes to behavior. He neglects to
include parental influences, cultural influences, and the position of leverage
or manipulation.
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LaBossiere. “Rudeness.” Talking Philosophy – The Philosopher’s Magazine. Nov 11, 2008
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